At last! The van’s stopped. I wonder where I am? Obviously I can’t see anything because I’ve been stuck in this box since the courier picked me up first thing this morning. It’s raining though. I can hear that. Hold on. I’m being picked up. Here we go. What adventures are in store for me today I wonder?
I’m Trevor by the way. I know, it’s an odd name for a red leather shoe, but there you go. The girls in marketing named me and it just stuck. I’m a new design and am always being sent to magazines, bloggers and fashion designers so that they can spread the word about my fabulousness. Apparently I’m on my way to have my photograph taken today. This time for the new website. In 360 degrees no less! Whatever that might be.
I assume we’ve just arrived at the photo studio. I say ‘we’ because there must be well over a hundred of us. All neatly packed in our own little boxes. I’ve got tissue paper in mine and I’m also tucked into a soft velvet drawstring bag. This means I’m posh.
We’re on the move again. We’re being carried this time and as I can’t hear the rain any more we must be inside. Yep, we are. We’ve just been put down and I can hear the courier explaining that his touchpad stylus is playing up again so they’re using the wrong end of a biro instead. My own courier. Told you I was posh. We must be on location at a farm because the chap sounds like he’s from the West Country. Surely I’m not going to be expected to parade up and down in cow muck? There are perfectly good welly boots for that.
That was quick. The box is already being opened. No hanging around today it seems. Ahhh. Fresh air! We’re not on a farm after all, that’s good. Although it’s still pretty dark in here too. Have they got a power cut or something? Oh I see. We’re actually in the studio and there’s no windows. Should have guessed really.
“Ripped off your bottom”
My lid’s off and I’m being taken out of the bag. It tickles a bit because the person’s wearing cotton gloves. Do they think I’m infected or something? Now my labels are being removed. I’m glad they’re doing it carefully, there’s nothing as painful as having a sticky label ripped off your bottom. They’ve jotted down my code and I’m being placed alongside all the other shoes. We do look a bit worse for wear though. Probably the long journey.
Ah, they must have heard me. I’m getting a thorough going over with a clean cloth. I did notice a few of Marjorie from dispatch’s finger prints on the back of my heel this morning. She never wipes her fingers after her morning hobnob. Oh hold on. They’re cutting a few loose strands off my stitches too. I didn’t notice those. They obviously want me for a close up. Can’t blame them really. I am gorgeous after all.
Hold on mate! Mind where you’re picking me up. You may be wearing gloves too but that’s a very sensitive area.
Where am I being taken now? I’m usually placed on a model’s perfectly pedicured feet and gently walked up and down when I have my photograph taken. This chap’s placing me on a big circular sheet of glass. It’s blimmin’ hot too. What does he need all those lights for?
Woaaaahhh!!! What’s happening? I’m being spun round like a teacup at Alton Towers. Let me off. I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m going to throw up.
Ahhhh. That’s better. I’ve stopped. I have no idea what that was all about, but I’d rather not do it again if it’s all the same to you.
“This guy is a genius”
Off we go again. Upstairs this time. I’m back in my box which at least isn’t spinning. I’ve been handed to another chap who keeps holding me up to the light and studying me closely. Can’t say I blame him. Oh look! That’s me on his computer screen. I have to say that does look exactly like me too. I’m the right colour and everything. It’s a picture of me on a plain white background. Bit boring if I’m honest. Though what’s he doing now? He’s opening another picture of me at a slightly different angle. Now another. And another. And… blimey! (excuse my language) he’s just made me spin right the way round. A full 360 degrees. Now that is cool!
No. No. Don’t pack me away. I want to stay and watch this. It’s like magic. This guy is a genius. Though saying that you’re doing a mighty fine job of packing me up nice and comfy. You’ve even remembered to put my sticker back on. And not a single hobnob in sight.
I’m back in my box now. Just waiting for the courier I assume. Sounds like all my friends are having a whale of a time spinning on that turntable. Probably the trainers. They’re into that sort of thing.
I’m in the van and on my way back home now. I quite enjoyed today. The swift initial spin gave me a bit of a shock, but on the whole I was treated like royalty. I might ask if I can come here again. Where was it again. Ah yes. Swiftspin. Apt name that.
See you on the website soon.
p.s. I’d quite like to be famous, so if you don’t mind perhaps you’d be kind enough to share my story with your friends. Ta very much!